Here are 25 things about me. I think the fad has fizzled, but I just got tagged by someone yesterday, so just maybe I’m not the last person to do it.
1. There is no substitute for authentic Tabasco sauce. I eat it on almost everything. There is a bottle of it in my saddle bag, just in case.
2. I’ve been told by many that I am one of the most objective people they’ve met, capable of giving solid advice free from emotion or personal prejudice. And I would agree, subjectively speaking, of course.
3. I find tattooed midgets hilarious. I’m not saying it’s right; I’m just… you know…it’s funny, that’s all.
4. I have worked as a mechanic, carpenter, tattoo artist, body piercer, Dialysis Technician, and a Nurse, among other things. I almost joined the Marines after high school and not doing so remains as one of my few regrets. Along with that time I bought a Zima.
5. I’m a pessimistic realist, adverse to risk. I do not trust that people will do the right thing, or that the situation will end in my favor. As a result, I am rarely unprepared when it all goes to hell, and occasionally surprised when it turns out alright. I believe this closely relates to #2 above.
6. I became reacquainted with my father in 2008 after not seeing him for 31 years. He has my same, odd sense of humor. And all of his hair. I guess the sense of humor may be genetic, the hair; not so much…
7. I have Harley t-shirts from most places I’ve visited; some as far away as England. I do not however, own a single shirt from the Harley shop that is less than two miles from my house. This doesn’t bother me.
8. I have a habit of quoting obscure movie quotes and cracking myself up, often at inappropriate times. It doesn’t seem to bother me that other people don’t understand. Sometimes, this even makes it more hilarious, as I feel no need to explain.
9. I once played in a rock band that wore makeup. Unfortunately (or fortunately?), I was not as attractive as any of those chicks from POISON. (Besides, it was strictly so we wouldn’t look washed out under the stage lights.. ahem. Moving right along…)
10. I think humility is a trait more should strive for and I try to remind myself of this. While this conflicts directly with my arrogance, I have no problem making fun of myself.
11. I’ve been banned from an “Anarchy” online forum for “inciting trouble” and “not following the rules”. For the record, those loonies are Hypocrites with a capital ‘H’.
13. While I know the difference between ‘to’, ‘two’ and ‘too’ as well as ‘then’ and ‘than’, I still type ‘hear’ sometimes when I mean to type ‘here’… It’s like my brain just doesn’t notice and sure as hell the spellchecker doesn’t catch it… And I sometimes place commas, and apostrophe’s (see?) where they don’t belong. This aggravates the bejeezus out of me.
Seriously; I’m almost out of bejeezuses. And commas.
14. I would rather wear regular work boots than expensive tennis shoes.
15. I registered the URL strippersandcocaine.com with no intention of using it. I did it simply because no one else had. I had a great laugh over the absurdness of this, but apparently no one else finds this even half as amusing as I do. C’est la vie
16. I can (and do) drink coffee constantly, and have no desire to stop. I have however, quit cokes almost entirely.
17. I can’t stand Star Trek. At all. I will literally leave the room if it is on. I love the actress Cate Blanchett. Yes, I know the two are completely unrelated.
18. I enjoy reading. A lot. Aside from technical documentation for work, it’s mostly historical. I don’t read fiction.
19. I intentionally skipped number twelve. It’s part of my self-therapy to treat Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. I don’t need a number twelve, and neither do you. I encourage everyone to leave number twelve off of their lists, Unless you’re making a list of ‘12 things that helped me beat OCPD.’
20. I would like to meet other Jews that like Tom Petty. (I’m not Jewish, I just think that ‘Petty-Jews’ may be an under recognized demographic and I like anyone that appreciates good rock and roll.)
21. I am addicted to taking apart and voiding the warranty on everything I own. Raise your hand if you have ever purchased two of something because you already knew you were going to break the first one and will need parts…
22. I have a serious phobia of losing my eyesight. Oddly, and in spite of owning safety glasses with pieces either chipped or melted away by flying metal, I still sometimes forget to put them on. I’m an idiot.
23. I have nothing but hate and disdain for flip-flops. I enforced a strict flip-flop tax of ten dollars at the tattoo shop upon customers who couldn’t wear real shoes in public. Friends (I use this term loosely) and family buy my daughter flip-flops just to torture me.
24. I own the first four issues of THE PUNISHER comic. I’ve never read them, and they are in plastic, in a closet. They are the only four comics I’ve ever purchased. I also make fun of comic-book nerds, you know, since I’m not one.
25. I ran over some old lady one night at the county fair- And I didn’t get arrested, because my dad’s the mayor.
(This isn’t entirely accurate. It’s actually a lyric from an old Dead Milkmen song, ‘Bitchin’ Camaro’. I needed a number 25, but it is pseudo-about me since 20 years after high school I’m still singing this lyric whenever someone says the word ‘Camaro’…)